Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Lebowski Measure

Anyway, if you’d like to find peace on earth and goodwill, man, we’ll help you get started. Right after a little nap.    - from "Dudeism," the website of the Church of the Latter Day Dude

In this election just past I voted with the Dude (wherever He abides) and a majority of my fellow Coloradans on a ballot item to legalize the possession of marijuana for recreational use - an item I call the Lebowski Measure.

It only makes sense. After all, the only constituencies that will be disappointed will be the Zetas and the American medical marijuana cartels, all of whom are currently making fair money off the weed as an illegal substance or as a prescription drug. Legalization measures in California and Washington have been opposed not only by law enforcement and business groups, but by the medical marijuana industry and beer distributors as well. No surprises there.

I was talking about this with a Kansas friend just yesterday, who told me that the residents in his small rural community lying about 40 miles east of the state line are overjoyed. They'll be able to make the short drive into Colorado and buy without prescription an already ubiquitous opiate which remains illegal in 48 states. It occurred to me when he told me this that Colorado may yet become the light of the world, the city on the hill which cannot be hid, unless it just forgets for the moment where it is.

Here's the good news for the nation, the new Gospel. Colorado, you'll have noticed, is one of those square states in the middle of the continent. But in spite of having only four sides, it is bounded by six states, touches a seventh (Arizona) on its southwest corner, and is just a 40-mile skip across the Oklahoma panhandle from Texas, the eighth state in its immediate cultural orbit. (Come to think of it, I can't unreservedly recommend "skipping" if you happen to be in Texas.)

Colorado is, in short, perfectly situated to become the leaven in the otherwise formless dough that is America. When surrounding states come to calculate the amount of potential revenue disappearing annually into Colorado's official coffers, the sea change will be on its way. Soon enough, the entire country will be a nation of Latter Day Dudes, abiding in peace, freedom and harmony. 

Colorado the light of the world? Why not? What would you rather do for recreation? ("Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.")

And finally, a handy, user-friendly Youtube guide to marijuana use, courtesy of the Seattle Police Department (seriously):

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