House Speaker Mike Johnson told Fox News last week that Democrats are refusing to end a government shutdown because “they can’t face their rabid base.” (The Independent, October 14, 2025)
Today brings the second No Kings national protest to our weary little cow town on the Colorado prairie. Miguel and Madame de Montaigne are planning to leave the precincts of the chateau and totter into the city to participate in a day of Marxist hijinks and merry japes. We have assembled an assortment of petits fours and dried bouquets of meadow flowers to distrubute among the encircling squadron of ICE agents, FBI infiltrators and any other anti-terrorist forces our consuls and praetors in a distant city may deem it sound policy to deploy. I think it advisable to wear logo-ed clothing (Patagonia vest and outdoor pants, SmartWool hiking socks, Merrell hiking shoes, anything from Gwyneth Paltrow, etc.) hoping to "blend in," as the saying goes, by not seeming overtly anti-capitalist.
According to Sean Duffy, our non-public, coal-fueled, over-the-road transportation secretary, we are part of antifa and are clearly being paid, everything now transparently transactional in the New America. So I am looking forward to the additional income such outings provide, the gutters on the north coping of the chateau being currently in a parlous condition. Word among the local protest organizers is that George Soros may favor our group with a visit to personally disburse large personal checks, but I find that a bit fanciful, much like Santa Claus actually turning up at your chimney on the night. After all, George is only one fellow, his minions are legion.
My speculation is that the funding for these events will come from a consortium of all the baddies who range freely in Republican fever dreams - people like the Clintons (who even have a foundation to fund such frolics), Hunter Biden and his Laptop (it has a life of its own), the Marx Brothers, Antonio Gramsci (we don't know who he is but we know Mussolini didn't like him), Taylor Swift, George and Amal Clooney. (And lest we forget, "Hanoi Jane" Fonda.)
Marxists
We are the Terror, the Red Wave, the Marxian elite, in the decrepitude and poverty of our imagination incapable of seeing the better world offered us, the Shining Magmire on the Hill. Only a mad person, a terrorist, an inveterate thinker - a "rabid base" no less - could refuse the order to return to the land of John D. Rockefeller, William F. Buckley, John Birch, Joseph McCarthy, Strom Thurmond, Lester Kefauver, George Wallace, Curtis LeMay, Boss Tweed and the Tammany Hall grifters. Only the wilfully blind could fail to find the promise of a rosy new order in W.D. Griffith's Klan epic, Birth of a Nation. What could be better than a return to America's Golden Age - 1950? 1850?
Without the polio and tuberculosis.
Oh, shit.
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